In the midst of battling cancer, there is a side, that many don't get to see. I call it "the other side of life". This depiction and photo of Joanne's father is exactly that side.
As a cancer patient, we spend many hours and days in a hospital bed. Many times, completely unaware of how time passes. Unfortunately, for the loved ones that are by our side, it seems like a restless eternity. There is a struggle and balance that not only the cancer patient tries to deal with, but the caregivers, and family members as well. As Joanne mentioned, she had wished that so much time hadn't been spent on clinical trial and treatments. Instead, she had wished that perhaps time had been spent on a family trip to make memories with her father and in hopes of peace and happiness in his later days.
This is a commom thought amoung both patients and caregivers alike. It is a struggle and a balance that is very difficult to weigh.
From personal experience, I have been on the "other side of life", many times. I have been the father in the picture. I have also had family sitting by my side on the "other side of life". I'd say to caregivers, that we know how undauntling difficult it is to sit by idly; to watch this disease take its toll. But, I'd also say; that it is YOUR continued support and love that gets us through these extremly difficult moments. We know that YOU are there. We know that YOU care, and that is what is most important to us. YOU are our support and guide.
I have often wondered why these are the moments and photos that no one shares. I have often thought and believed that these were "our" finer moments. Our struggles, our trials, our tribulations, our battle; fuilled with love and support. These are the times when we are at our best. These unfortunate reflections, need to be taken and shared. They shouldn't be hidden like some taboo tablot. The world needs to see "the other side of life". The battle. The fight for our life.
The courageous patient and caregiver alike should be glorified, for this battle is a reality unlike any other. I would hope that The Power of: YOU can help change the way we look at a Cancer Patients Life. I as well hope that caregivers and family alike, continue to share and explore their feelings. "How beautiful" it is, in life; to see such glorious photo ~ in good times and in bad.
I wish Joanne and her family continued peace throughout life. I hope that The Power of: YOU will reach beyond your struggles for the greater good in this life.
Please feel free to contact Joanne at jojomg3668@aol.com or post any thoughts, questions, or comments about her story. I believe in my reader's and The Power of: YOU. YOU can and do make a difference!
Thank you for sharing and for caring!
4 comments:
Becky I want to thank you for putting my pictures of dad in such a touching story and making sense of what it meant to me when it happened, how I felt , and in the hospital picture dad was doing what he did so often. looking at the beautiful light , he looked out the window about 3 days before he died, and said" look at that light, it's so beautiful, do you se it? oh my god it's so beautiful"
and he looked at that light with such peace and contentment on his face and that picture shows it I think, I am so sorry to hear of Randy's death. me and dad were waiting in pre op one day and randy was on oprah and he opened up the topic of death and me and dad talked about death and what our feelings were about death I asked dad if he was afraid of death and he said" death is life fianal big adventure and we are all going to go " he said he wasn't afraid, I hope he is enjoying the adventure but I miss him so much death is so final. I knew where dad was my whole life , he was just a phone call away and now I can't picture where he is and its scary, but thank you for putting my photos into such beautiful storie
"When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him; and you are torn by the thought of unhappiness and night you cast, by the mere fact of living, in the hearts you encounter." Abbert Canius
This was a great post and a good story to be shared. I remember the time spent at the end of my parents life and how glad I was to be with each of them at the very end. That doesn't mean that the reality is always easy but it is part of the life experience.
Thanks becky I have found that writing about my dad's cancer helps. Carver you actually helped us alot on mpip, my dad was fred and he loved mpip it helped him so much, I still check in from time to time and sometimes the sadness is unbearable but sometimes the good news is wonderful. My brother in law gave the eulogy at dad's funeral and mentioned something special his 4 kids had with him.mine was thunderstorms when I was about 5 I was scared of storms and my dad would get me out of bed and we would stand at the front door and talk and count the seconds from lightening to see how far the storm was, my dad was cremated Jan 6 08 that night we had a huge, loud and long thunder storm.which in massachusetts in january is unheard of. everyone woke up the same time 3 am, and I knew it was dad, then a week later I woke up at 3am to shaking on my bed I thought it was a dog scratching themselves on my bed..I looked around no dog. I went back to sleep. 6 am thumping on my bed, It was closer and louder, I got up looked through the bed, took all the blankets off, no dog.I went to the living room and the 2 dogs were sleeping on the couch, I woke up again at 10am to the thumping this time I was wide awake. I could see the blankets moving ,the next night it happened to my mother the exact same times, I knew it was him,It's not the scary death darkness that scares me. its the longing to talk to my dad..to see him to hug him I don't know if it's normal but I cry everyday. I want to just have 5 minutes with him,my dad was always there for me. when I was 22 and my son was born, dad brought me to the hospital and stayed the whole labor with me. he was the first person to hold my son. the night before I was discharged the hospital had a dinner for the new parents.I had my dinner with my dad. we did everything together, vactions. protesting the war, I feel like my eyes will never be not puffy and sometimes I feel like such a whining baby when Isee what most of you have to deal with, I guess I'm just weak death scares me. so much always did.
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