Till the day we meet again

Theres so much to tell. So much on my mind. How do I tell you? Do I show you? Do I tell you? Do I dare talk to myself and look like a foul? Do I dare reenact only to know that I really dont know. Dont know if your watching or even there. How do I know your real? How do I know your even there? I dont know and I wont know. There once was a time that you were here and saw what I saw. Did what I did. Lived what I live. You dont live anymore. And thats the problem. Is there another life? Are you who you want to be? Where you want to live? Do you miss me as I miss you? Do you still love me as I still love you? Where ever you are, are they with you? The two most important beings. Are they gone as well? You loved them as much as I did. Chewy and Chewrella. Our two pups. Are they alive and well with you? I miss them. How about her? Is she there too? Patches? Is she running free in her new life? Are you happy? Do you have everything you want or need? Does "he" treat you right. Is he who everyone says he really is. "God". Do you forgive him for taking your life? I cant find forgiveness. Its to hard. Ive been told theres a reason. I reason for everything. A reason for your death. Whats that reason? Was it me? All these questions. They have no answers. You cant answer them. Alive or gone. You cant respond. If you were here you wouldnt know how to answer. But your gone. You cant answer. Maybe you do have the answers. How would I know? I dont see you. I dont hear you. You vanished. I remember the days you tucked me in bed. Where are you? Its bed time and I have covered untucked. I remember coming home to a fresh, hot dinner. Where are you? Theres nothing waiting for me. My rooms a mess. You use to make sure I had everything neat and organized. Where are you? I cant keep up with it if your not here to tell me to do it. I wanna cry. I use to cuddle up next to you and cry on your shoulder. Where are you? I need your shoulder. I need you to welcome me with open arms. Never to judge me no matter how old I am. I wanna give up. Where are you? You always told me how strong I am and that I can over come anything. That I was strong. You promised you were there for me. Where are you? I dont see you? I want to see you. See your beautiful smile. Not the smile I saw when you passed. The smile you gave me everyday when I came home. That warm welcome. The love. I was never refused of your open arms. Your love. Your concern. You loved me. I was your one and only. I never left your side. But you left mine. Your gone. Your not there. I turn to my left and my right. Where are you? I dont see you. Youve vanished. I'm confused. I miss you. I wish that none of this every happened. Its affected my life. Drastically. The others, they dont see. They dont know what its like to lose someone as important as you. They dont know the feeling. The pain I went through and still go through. I go through my life everyday wondering. Wondering where you are. What your doing. If your still alive deep down. I love you. No matter if your still here or not. Your my one and only. The only Mom I could ever ask for. Noone will ever replace you. I love you and miss you so much. Your forever loved. Mom <3

2010 Dance

This is Myself with Joe Andler. The guy Ive had a crush on since freshman year. I had an amazing time at the dance. Missin mom always.

Over a year.

Its Jen. My moms been gone for well over a year. I can't help but to think of her right now cause of the memories she gave me. She through a halloween party for me and my class in 6th grade. My friends still talk about that day to this very day. She made an impression on them. Something that they will never forget. Im almost 18. In less than 2 months actually. I really wish she was here. More than anything. I have my school dance next saturday and Im going with the guy Ive had a crush on since freshman year. Mom was the first to find out that I had this crush on him. She would be so happy for me. She always told me to go after what I dream of. I finally did and shes not here. I miss her dearly. Things would be different if she was still here. I wouldnt regret coming home everyday. I wouldnt wish that I lived somewhere else. Id just have her. It would be like the old days when I came home to a warm dinner on the table. I bright smile no matter how her day went. No yelling, no complaining, just love. Thats all she gave. She gave so much love to other people that she never asked for it in return. I feel like I neglected that. If I could redo everything I would. I would tell her how much I love her. How much I cant stand to watch her go. I want her here to hold my hair back when Im sick, To hug me when Im gonna cry, to rock me when Im scared and tell me everything will alright. To care. When I think back I remember that no matter what I did wrong she still loved me with unconditional love. I was her one and only. I wish I realized this back then rather then now when its to late. I would do anything to have her back. To live with her and know that no matter what I have a home with a warm meal everyday, and of course... her unconditional love. I love her very much. No matter where she is... She will always be my mom.

ONE YEAR and never forgotten with much LOVE MOM xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Over 10 months

Hello again. Its me, Jennifer Sick. Rebecca's daughter. Its been over 10n months since she's been gone. Its not getting any easier. I've heard that it will. When is that? An eternity? Around this time mom would be getting me ready for school to be over for summer. I plan on doing all the fun things we use to do together during the summer time. Between Cedar Point, Clays Park, The Beach, and having a good time. She will always be there with me spiritually and I will always remember her while im on my summer break. I'll be a Senior this coming year. Mom was looking forward to my Senior year but, of course she's not here for it. I love her dearly as well as everyone else. Stay Strong. Love, Jennifer.

Happy Birthday

Thought of you with Love today, but that is nothing new. I thought of you yesterday and the days before that, too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my...HEART. With Much LOVE MOM

Movies, driving, etc..

Some of the many movies my mom and I watched were mainly love movies. Im sure you already knew this. She loved to watch the Notebook. It was her favorite. Basically anything that had to do with love she watched it. Unfortunatly when she was unable to drive we would watch movies countless times that it became boring. It was all we could do though and I still enjoyed every moment. As for me Driving I have my license. I drive to school everyday and I enjoy it. Im just like my mother and of course Im afraid. My mom was always telling me of the worries of driving and how she was terrified of getting into an accident and that she would rather fly then drive anyday. I agree with her. I remember when I drove her and I to Florida many times and back. It was a fun experience. We would blair the radio and sing till we couldnt talk. Many of my memories of her were while driving to florida and in florida. She made sure to make her last moments with me wonderful and Ill never forget them.

Favorite memory of Me and My Mother

My favorite memory of my mom would have to be all the countless nights we would spend together watching movies. She called it PJ/movie/popcorn night. We would get into our favorite pajamas and cuddle up together on the couch. Of course we had 10 blankets on us because mom was crazy about being under the warm blankets. We would watch countless movies and eat tons of popcorn. The one night we grabbed our blankets and sore around the room like we were birds who were free and happy to be alive. We laughed for hours on end. Another night my mom decided to put our remaining popcorn on our ceiling fan and watch them fly. We were on the floor rolling in popcorn, laughing. After all the fun was over and we decided to go to bed, we would sleep in the same bed. We would lay together and talk about our day. I would tell you everything about school and the boy I use to like. She would tell me either about her work or her love life. I helped her threw it all. I was mommys little helper and I forever will be.

Ask

Hello. Its Jennifer again. Its been a long 6 months, but ive been getting threw this. Slowly of course. I would like for you to ask anything you would like you know. Weather its about my mother or me. I'll try and answer as best as I can. Thank you.