Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas From Heaven
I still hear the songs,
I still see the lights
I still feel your love on cold wintery nights

I still share your hopes and all of your cares
I'll even remind you to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you, you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment, To stay in His Grace
I came here before you to help set your place

You don't have to be perfect all the time
He forgives you the slip, If you continue the climb

To my family and friends,
Please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you,
In a new special way

I love you all dearly,
Now dont't shed a tear
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year

3 months

Its been 3 months since the death of my mom. More recently I seem to be struggling with dealing with the loss. The many things that keep popping up in head are the few days before she died. Its been hard trying not to think about those finally days but its also hard to not think about those days. She was in constant need of something or someone. She looked horrible. There was honestly nothing I could do for her except pray. I wish I could have done something to help her. Hopefully shes in a better place now. Better then where she was. I'm praying that shes not in anymore pain. If she were to see me right now I hope shes proud of me. I'm trying my best to follow in her footsteps. My goal is to be a writer. She inspired me to do what I believe in. I believed in her and her work. I will continue to write and try my best to carry on. Some interesting things that happened between me and her was the time she let me have a Halloween party. We threw this party when I was in 6th grade and people are still talking about it today. She defiantly left an impression on them. Shes known for that. Her words left an impression on many. What she left with me will stay with me for a life time. I love you mom. I hope your in your dream house waiting for me.

Message from Jennifer again

Its been almost 2 months since my mothers death and its not getting any easier. A very good friend of my mothers told me that updating every once in awhile about some of the many things about my mother would be a good idea. I agree with him. Theres so many things about her that I will never forget. Her favorite ride at Cedar point-Millenium force. Her favorite ice cream- napolean. Her favorite scent- vanilla bean noel. She loved taking pictures. I cant tell you how many pictures I have that she took. Her camera only holds many more and her laptop. She loved animals. Mainly dogs but she knew I loved cats so we always had both in our house. Her 2 favorite dogs were chewy and chewrella. She loved them very much. She loved to watch movies and have pj parties with me. We would get popcorn and candy and stay up all night. Christmas time was her favorite season. All the decorations and presents filled her heart with joy. I know her favorite part of christmas was when I was little seeing my face when I saw all the presents under the chrismas tree. She was always so excited just like me. We would spend hours decorating the house. One time we made a string of popcorn for the tree. We were throwing the popcorn at each other instead. Then she has a brilliant idea to put popcorn on the celling fan and watch popcorn fly. I loved those times. She was laughing and living her life to the fullest. Ill post again some time soon with more facts about my mother. Thanks for reading.

poems by jennifer sick

she opened her eyes
and was on a cloud
a man appeared
and said aloud
you've lived a life
once so beautiful
yet so strong
take my hand
no fear allowed
no tears to shred
or pain to feel
just love and happiness
for all eternity
while many on earth
may cry and shout
you shall be safe
from all no doubt
for you are here
to be adored
by all you see
now through eternity
withoug a doubt
your always fighting
and I love you for that
stay who you are
not just for me
but for god you'll see
we love you for who you are
that woman you are
that mother you are
that beautiful soul
and loving heart
no matter what
you will always be
~My Mother~
~I Love You~

*********************************
~Till death~
By: Jennifer Sick


She closed her eyes and had a dream
God was there with a bright glowing beam
he said to her "your time has come and gone"
be not afraid
your soul is not lost
for you are in heaven
she looked around
and what did she see
loved ones thats where once lost
well how can that be?
what God has said
must be true
Theres no pain, no fear
not even a tear

She looked down and what did she see?
her family and friends crying sadly
She turned to God and said,
"why are they crying
so sad and so dim"

Its cause they lost a loved one
so pure and so beautiful
they lost their daughter and even their mother...

She tryed to cry out
and tell them shes ok
but they did not hear
so she fell to her knees
and began to pray
"Oh God please protect them"
"let my daughter know that I will always be there"
"i will guide her"
"lover her and always protect her"

God did just as she asked,
and the family moved on
but still thing of her
again and again...

This is dedicated to my mother...
I love you...

A message from her daughter

Hello everyone. My names Jennifer Sick but im sure you already know this. My mom always made sure she included me in anything she wrote especially on her blogs. She was a very outgoing person and one of a kind. There is noone out there that could ever replace my mother. She inspired me to do many things and im sure she also inspired many others. She was a fighter. She refused to give up. Chemo treatments, radiation, pain medications, and surgerys after surgerys she fought to destroy this cancer that took her life. She told herself everyday "yes i can". She once held me in her arms and told me shes doing everything she could to prolong her life for me. There are so many things she will miss and things she will not see. Why should a woman so yound and so beautiful lose her life to such a horrible desease? Lifes not fair. Always tell the ones you love just how much you love and care about them cause you never know what tomorrow has in store. I love you mom. You were strong. I hope your on your beach house in heaven with your toes in the sand surronded my shells and the wonderful sun waiting for me. I will see you then. Till then I hope your happy and comfortable in your new life. Love you always, Your daughter, Jennifer.

Passing of our loving Becky

Becky passed on this afternoon at 12:17 pm. She is now free from the pain of this cancer and her spirit can move on to be free. We will always remeber her as she was. Her wonderful spirit that loved life, loved writing, loved the water and beach. We will miss her dearly!

Love, her sister-

Rest In Peace
March 2, 1969 - July 17, 2009

Going back to Work

Of course FedEx stopped by my house on Saturday with orders for me to show up to work on Monday at 6am. It figures, the week I can make it down is the week I go back to work. I'm still gonna try and figure a way down one of these coming weekends.

Here are a few more pics of Becky. I think these are on this blog spot somewhere.

Praying for a layoff

I work for a supplier for GM. I've been on layoff and they started bring people back this week. More than likely I will start back next week but if I don't I will have time and money to go visit Becky for a week. So lets all pray for a continued layoff.

Love you and miss you Becky, here's hoping I get to see you next week.

JP

Becky's nursing home

This makes me sad. This is where Becky is. It's a nice place and she has a window by her bed. The last time I visited she told me she was at peace with everything.



There are a massive amount of stairs at the memorial. It's near Becky's home and she use to walk these stairs trying to loose weight on her butt. That's funny because Becky has always been tall and thin.

Becky not doing so great

Hello all,

I got an email from Becky's mother, she doesn't know how long Becky can hang in there, she not eating, and is down to nothing, but is still alert and can talk to them.

I heard a song from Black Eyed Peas that I thought I would share:

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish
I spent my time just thinking about you
Every single day I'm really missing you
And all those things we use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinking about you
Every single day, yes I'm really missing you
And all those things we use to do

Beautiful

Always thinking about her so I thought I would share some pictures I have of Becky. If you would like to share send it to me at yahoo, jjumpinjim and I will put some up.

Wish

I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight...
Becky I wish for you every night!

Love ya,
JP

Here are the most recent cards I sent out 4 you guys.

Cards sent out

If you want to send something to Becky the address is:
Becky Luker
c/o Green Meadows
7770 Columbus Rd NE
Louisville, OH 44641

Here are pictures of some of the cards I sent out. I decided to send a card for each person. I see that I need to send some more and I'll post those pictures also.

JP

Send A Message

Hello all,

I am going to send Becky a card and I am going to add some of the things you guys have said. If you want to write something I can add it to the next card I send.

JP

Missing Becky

I went to see Becky over the Memorial Holiday and I'm already missing her again. We want to go see her over the 4th of July but my daughter has a cheerleading parade that weekend. We went and visited Becky twice over the Memorial Holiday. Both times she was having a hard time staying awake and it was a little hard understanding her. She is in a nursing home and Becky's mom said she wouldn't make it back home. The tumor is intertwined with her nerves which makes it pretty painful. The pain pump is helping her deal with the pain but is throwing off her days and nights. Becky always seemed to thrive at night anyways so it's no surprise that her body is awake at night and wants to sleep during the day. She seemed pretty skinny to me and her hair was growing back but that's all secondary, the goal is just to keep her comfortable at this time and happy.

Always thinking of you Becky
Love your best friend JP

Update from Becky's Mom

Well first of all please all keep praying, it is working, so far so good. We went to the Pain Management Office today. Dr. Feldman, who the last time he saw Becky she was in hospital bed fast and on bed pan unable to get out of bed, with her Oncologist who has written her off saying this was the end. Well he was smiling from ear to ear as we walk in and walked back to the rooms, he didn't say anything just kept shaking my hand, and explained the pump to Becky cause when they explained it to her last she was clear out of her mind on 16.3 Dialated per hour. She is now with the pump on 2.99 Miligrams per Day, that is a bigggg difference. They put this template on the pump the size of a hockey puck under the skin it shows where to insert needle they took out the old Dilated 5cc and put in the new 19cc. and we are to go back on June the 10th unless we need to up the dosage.

Well we got home, walking out of the office by the way, very slowly of course but still walking out, we drove through the city parks looked at the flowers and the geese we have 100,s of them and we had to stop twice well they crossed the road she was smiling at that.

We got home and she got out the pan to heat up some ham, greenbeans, and potatoe stew and ate 2 bowls of it and some fruit fresh strawberries and pineapple and laid on the couch to watch Judge Judy.

I know to anyone else these things would seem small but I know all of you would know what all of these little things mean.

Thanks so much for all the prayers, and keep praying.

Love to you All Dee (Beckys MOM)

Upcoming Birthday

March 2nd is Becky's Birthday. Happy Birthday Becky!

Luv ya,
JP

February 17th

Becky and her mom will be on their way to NIH in the morning for her tests. Becky has had so much pain with these kidney stones. She is finally home and NIH got her scheduled right away to go there. Her CT scan is at 4:15 tomorrow. She will be an inpatient there until at least Sunday.

At least three others from the MPIP are currently at NIH. We make quite a family, all caring for each other! Hoping they all get good reports!

Julie

Update on Becky

Sorry, it is me again, Julie. Thought you all might want an update. Better from Becky, but I am all you have at the moment!

I continue to check Becky's website daily myself and finally wrote to her mom and got an update. She asked me to post on the MPIP, but thought I would put this one here.

Last Sunday Becky started having some extreme abdominal pain, turned out she has some kidney stones. Those can be so painful. Anyway she was admitted to the hospital last Tuesday and they have changed the stents and zapped the kidney stones. She is currently not having pain in her kidneys but is on an antibiotic because of the stent and this is making her nauseous, so she is still in the hospital at the time being.

She was suppose to go back to NIH two weeks ago for scans, but that coincided with the big snowstorm and Becky didn't feel up to sitting in airports with her reduced immune system. This past week she was in the hospital and couldn't go. NIH is anxious for her to get back for scans to see how things are doing. We are all anxious to hear some good news from Becky!

Julie

At home... resting...

Hello All!

I'm sorry that it has been awhile since I have posted. After much "deliberation" by the Dr.s at the NIH ~ I was able to come home on New Year's Eve!!! I was soooo Happy :) about that. I made it home with relative ease. It was snowing and amazingly beautiful... looking at all of the wonderful Christmas lights decorated on everyone's homes... it truly was a nice welcome home.
I've not been feeling so well... off and on... but that was to be expected. My immune system will take approximately 6 months to fully get back into order.
I have some amazing friends and family ~ I wouldn't have been able to do this without you.
Right now, the number one priority and goal, is to keep eating... and to eat well. I lost alot of muscle weight, which, apparently isn't a good thing. I've finally begun to eat something other than cheerios and jello!!!
I am hoping to put all of this behind me... I have honestly had quit enough hospitals for now. Although, I am supposed to be going back to my onc for a urine culture... this stint... is causing problems... infections, etc. I'm not sure if it is almost time to change it once again or not... something I need to look into.
It's nice to be home though... so, for now... I am going to enjoy the simplicity of this time. I have jacked my furnace up to 75 degree's and have put on additional heaters... it is now very warm and cozy!!!! (just how I like it)
I hope that all is well with everyone.
I will continue to post ~ as long as I am feeling up to it. Today has been the best I've felt in a long while.
I am keeping all who are fighting in my thoughts (especially Knute ~ who is currently at the NIH doing this treatment)
Take Care my friends ~ and Thank you all... so very much ... for your kindness and concern.
Love,
Becky