I'm feeling a bit nastolgic. I'm not sure why. Perhaps its because I have decided to take a break from my mpip bulletin board community. Or, perhaps its because I am just not feeling so well. Either way; one can never know, what brings upon certain changes in mood.
I have been trying really hard to keep myself occupied; which helps in keeping my mind off the issue of cancer. I don't want to bore you; my reader's with mundane, restless, and repeatative thoughts. Especially about my most inner feelings.
It's funny ~ yet odd, but not strange... that this can be picked up by others. I had recieved a personal e-mail from a friend... who said... now really... remember, I went through this... if there is anything that you would like to talk about... you can.
I've been thinking about that statement alot. I've been wondering... alot... about the purpose and ultimate goal of this... my blogspot. I never really wanted to share...all the sad emotions. The true to life... day to day struggles. We've all got them... now don't we? Who wants to hear and or read more?
Cancer is thought to be such a dreadful topic for discussion. Honestly, who really wants to take the time to sit and listen to the ramblings and confessions of someone who's sick? Our own mortality is incomprehensible enough... yet, let alone... to deal with another's?!
I often find myself counterdicting myself in my blog posts. Perhaps its sheer confusion? Or, is it partial denial? A way to communicate with the other side? Or a means to an end?
Whatever it is, that I am trying to accomplish; I will. I have always believed that "everything happens for a reason". Now, don't ask me what that reason may be; I may not know now, or ever. But, I do believe, that I was "chosen" to have cancer for a reason; one that is far greater and comprehensible than ever.
For that matter, we are all given obstacles and challenges in our lives to contend with. It's how we choose to meet the challenge and proceed. I firmly believe that holding a blindseye will only decieve. So, if I sound a bit strange, bewildered, or confused; that's because I am! I will proceed with caution. Be beware, I will move on.
Tommorrow is yet another day ~ to be thankful for.
2 comments:
You bring up a great point. The bottom line is, at least for me, you have raised awareness. I have pointed people to your site to look at that video about seeing a dermatologist. You also hammer home the point that we should never take anything for granted. I know I'm not the only one that continues to say "Thanks for doing what you are doing." I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I remember when I married my wife I made sure they played dream on by Aerosmith...
I know its Jurrasic rock...but the lyrics are so true.
and on this road with melanoma you have to live for today!
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