Daughter's

Before you ask... No! I am not a Harley Rider!!! (lol...) I have actually only ever taken a bike ride twice in my life ~ and, I wouldn't even call it a ride! I made it around several blocks each time!
We visited a Harley shop several years ago ~ and finding this photo reminded me ~ of a time with my daughter that life seemed so easy. It's been a bit difficult on her lately. She's a talker by nature... and has become a "clam" about the topic/issue of my cancer.
I've gotten to a point ~ where, I've come to realize that life... IS too short. To short to waste time on the remedial and mundane. We waste alot of time and energy "bickering" about the "little" things.
My world has opened to a completely different tune. I know, that teenage years, are very difficult as is; and on top of all ~ is a terminal illness, that my daughter must face.
I believe that she is distancing herself from me. I know, that I too, perhaps have done the same over the past year to many in my immediate family. (Not purposely, or deliberatley) ~ but, from what I have read; it is a "natural" occurence amoungst cancer patients and family.
I have read that many marriages do not make it through a cancer diagnosis. It's not easy ~ to say the least. Perhaps distance is our way of not "dealing" with the issues at hand. Whatever the reason ~ I do believe, that everything has it's purpose in time.
Perhaps it is too help my daughter learn to live and be on her own ~ a bit more independant. We were very close. Now, we are drifting... slowly drifting. I am a very patient person ~ as, I am sure, so too, is my dauther. She has endured alot over the course of the past several years.
I can only hope, that through my eyes, she will someday see and realize the unconditional love that I felt. I promised her, that I would fight... this. Fight... and be around for her. My sorrow lies in her future.
I was asked: "are you afraid of death"? ~ at one point, I was. I avoided it, like the plague. These years have helped me come to grips with the inevitable. Our definative end. I no longer fear death, as I once did. But, I do fear; the life, that my daughter may have, without me.
Perhaps, I too, am being a bit selfish... I would love nothing more, than to be around to aggrivate her more!!! (lol...)
I will keep my pledge ~ I continue to seek any and all alternative treatments. Hey, I tried the wheatgrass ~ I'm up for anything! Someone just recently told me to take a bathe/soak in hydrogen peroxide; apparently, it is supposed to help melanoma patients...
I welcome ALL suggestions... and comments...
PS... my dearest daughter, I LOVE YOU WILL ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.