Restless thoughts...

I am overwhelmed with a surge of emotions... perhaps it is just "nervous" anxiety; regardless, it is a "mood" that conflicts with~ what I dare say: "living reality".
I should explain. I have been reading Kris Carr's book "crazysexy cancer tips"; and in it, she explains that "some people are very superstitious, [about cancer] when it comes to talking openly about the disease, as if words themselves carry potential harm." It is like I have mentioned before in my posts; much like Kris continues to say: "there is nothing taboo about cancer, and it certainly isn't contagious". It is true... I often feel as though "cancer patients are made to feel it's socially inappropriate to be cancer patients. [That "we" are] expected to file the reality away in some far-off emotional safe so that other people can enjoy their fresh pea soup in peace".
Ok ~ I wouldn't necessarily have chosen the phrase "fresh pea soup" ~ but I wholeheartidly agree. People do tend to back away. Not only from the topic or discussion of cancer; but as well, literally. Many of my conversations with people have ended quit abruptly, when I raise cancer as MY topic of interest. It's honestly become annoying beyond all belief.
I'm not saying that people aren't compassionate; because, believe me; they truly and honestly are. Sympathetic and empathetic; absolutely. However, it would be soooo much more wonderful if in "we" could seriously address and "bridge the gap"; as I mentioned in an earlier post; between our reality and yours.
"We" live in a world; unlike any other. Consiously, on a daily basis, we are aware of a disease, from within that is battling to take over. In the meantime; we "literally" are trying to fight for our lives. All the while ~ the world still goes around. We watch seemingly "normal" people live their lives with little hesitation or regard to a "bigger, brighter picture". The "swoop of life" has taken hold. Granted, I was once in that realm ~ in the frolic and hustle, bustle of everyday life; without regard. I came and went. But now ~ I am torn between your world; "the swoop of life", and that of a cancer patients.
The phone calls are once again beginning to flood in... "this is a reminder call, that you have a 9 o'clock appointment...on such a such a date...don't forget to fast for several hours...make sure you drink plenty of water...[ooohh...and yes...this one...] don't forget your medical insurance card! If I could only count the number of times I have heard that one.
Yes, my surge of restless emotion is getting the better of me. I can no longer sit at peace. I feel, I must speak. I feel I must speak about the TRUTH. The reality. The conflict between a our world and yours. Kris Carr's book touches upon many wonderful truths. However, I must honestly say; that many of "us" cancer patients don't really fall into her core. She has yet to undergo any type of cancer treatment ~ and let me tell you ~ that's a world of it's own... {I will save that one for another day} I'm glad that someone has actually wrote a book about the many faucted stages and states a cancer patient goes through... but, there is soooo, soooo, much more.
For now, I will leave you with my restless ramblings. My upcoming PET scan has stirred up my core of thought once again. It has reminded me... that the "swoop of life" is once again, about to end; and the reality of a cancer patient's life, is about to begin.
So, if your in that same "limbo-land" state ~ I can empathisize; and, if not ~ I can understand.

{photo is a depiction that I took at the very beginning of all this... I must have known then... everything seems to be "black and white"; with two diffinate sides}