Selfish Thought!!!

Where do I even begin this evening? ~ I have an incredible amount of energy and thought these days... I honestly don't know what to attribute it too...
Although, I am not getting much sleep ~ I am feeling well rested ~ yet, full of an abundance of wrestless energy. I've got soooo many ideas... and soooo many things that I want to do...
I don't know if it is because of the deep seeded rootful thought of the possibly limited time that I may have... or perhaps just the simple concept of an awakening to life.
WE have so many choices in life. So many decisions... which way do we go?
So many times, I find, that people aren't happy with themselves and with their life, and career choice.
I can say... that I was content with mine. I was, to say the least, extremely happy. I had a good job, a nice home, a wonderful family, and an honest and decent husband.
So, what happened? Did I, myself become uncontend? Unhappy with my life's choices?
Is it enough ~ so, that I could warrant the branding "selfish"?
This word seems to keep popping up these days ~ within my personal realm. I am told, that I "selfish" ... either, for my behavior or future plans.
It is, without a doubt; beginning to push me away... further and further.
At this point, in my life... I just want some Peace and Understanding. I'm not asking for sympathy or empathy; just mere understading... a relation to my personal thoughts.
If it is in The Power of: YOU ~ that you wholeheartidly believe in ~ you would have an understanding and support for other's. Regardless of what personal impact it may have in regards to YOU. Now, I ask ~ is this not in turn... what can be construded as "selfishness" in turn?
The Power of: YOU ~ is meant to help ~ not meant to aim ~ and thwart ~ negative thought and emotion.
In essence ~ yes, to some greater extent; we are all: at the mercy of our own egotic state.
So, what's the point of this evening's cyriptic message?
I am ~ who I am. I am as you see me to be; in your own eyes. I am nothing more or nothing less. I have valid feelings and emotions ~ that are, yes... extremely hightened; and often released.
I am a sensible, yet reckless being. I am strong and yet weak. I am a believer in the ultimate ~ thought ~ that everything has it's purpose and being.
I am a dreamer. I am a lover. I am one with nature. I am one with peace. I am a mother. I am resiliant and submissive. I am forgiving and forgetful. I am compassionate ~ yet bleak. I am hopeful and sorrowful. I am good and bad.
The point is... this IS me. The Ying and the Yang.
I know what I want out of life... that will not change... that, is not "selfishness"
That is my reality. That is my dream. That is my goal. That is my challenge. That is what I will pursue.
I have never felt so much resistance in all my life. But, regardless... it is only making me that much stronger... and not weak!
I will continue to explore my life and the greater possibilites within in.
I will shine ~ through ~
I know, that many of YOU ~ do believe. You do believe in the Power ~ and the guidance.
It signifies ~ change. It is dignity, in my wing.
My exploration ~ took plight ~ because of your beliefs. Your positive thoughts of power and prayer.
My awakening, continues to be an introspection of ~ self.
I LOVE what I see.
I have so many of you to thank ~ who believe in the absolute Power of: YOU.
You know who you are. You are beyond my shinning stars. You are my outreach and in turn... I become that for someone else, in need.
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~ alright, so, I went off on a tangent, that I honestly didn't even originally plan on posting...
I know that alot of my thoughts seemed jumbled and mixed or confused... or better yet, confusing... but, because they are personally related to me... in some manner of form... I try to do my best... to be somewhat discrete.
I have so many thoughts about so many topics... so much to yet do and say... yet, an unseemingly limited amount of time ~ to accomplish them all.
So, I must begin to prioritize... something, that I am working on..
In the meantime... in the world of cancer... I have gotten an appointment at the Hillman Cancer Center. It is scheduled after my appointment with the NIH in mid September. Wow, where has the time gone? ~ I can't believe that it is almost fall.
Anyway... I am quit busy these days... researching... my alternatives... therapies, approaches to life and treatment ~
it's daunting how much information is out there... yet, is not truly ~ "publically" availible.
A few things I've learned this week:
~for a good cleansing... add some lemon to your "natural water"
~don't drink the tap water... full of contaments!!!
~fruits, veggies... full of pesticides!!! (wash, wash, wash)
~buy organic ~(make sure it says: CERTIFIED organic, otherwise, it's NOT.)
~seek alternative methods to aid in your health and healing: ie: metaphysical; yoga, massage, accupunture, aromatherapy, colortherapy, natural wheats and greens, mind-body exploration...
There is a wealth of information out there... it is incredible. We are doing nothing more, than killing ourselves... with all the preservatives, meat, pesticides, etc... that we put in our bodies and in our daily lives... stress... is a killer.
I can't believe that I never took heed to actually living a truly healthier lifestyle.
I do welcome any and all suggestions and thoughts... new information... etc... I love it all...
Today, was the first day that I have ever heard of another natural aide: "paw paw" ~that is next on my list...to study!!!
~it's once again gettting late... and I am sure... that I am beginning to diverge...
my late night thoughts... are only but a few...
I will bid you good-night, or good-day...
~continue to believe in yourself... and seek out other's who... believe in you too.