Man, what's going on?!!!

I guess you could say... I've been doing a bit of reminiscing these days. Taking a look back at my stored digital photo's. I must say, I LOVE finding the ones with my daughter happy, smiling, and with the wind blowing her hair in her face. There's something to say to life in action and motion.
The photo depicts the best of everything that I cherish the most. My daughter, first and foremost, the sea/ocean/lake, and the great outdoors/nature. Give me a small shack by the beach with a hammock, and I will die happy! :)
The photo was taken at Cedar Point Amuseument Park in Sandusky Ohio. My ALL TIME FAVORITE place for thrill rides galore! Man, what's going on here?!!! I haven't even made it there once this year. I ALWAYS get there at LEAST once, if not two or three times a season. There is something about the thrill of the adrenaline ~ the rush ~ of being on "top of the world" ~ if only for a brief moment or two. It's an incredible feeling. It's an awesome sight. You can see the water for miles in every direction when you are at the peak of a roller coaster.
So many changes. So many decisions. Life has thrown me for a curve! But, hey, I'm not complaining. In all actuality, I'm glad. I'm really glad. It has made me awaken. It has made me see that life is for the living ~ and that we should make the best and most of it. We should learn to conquer our fears. We should overcome our greatest obstacles. We should livestrong and learn from our failures and mistakes.
It's been very difficult coming to grips with alot. I believe that I worked very hard to get the point where I was at in my life, prior to cancer. I was just finally "getting it together". I worked hard 8 years to obtain a career status at my job. I was determined and motivated! Wow, ~ and for the person who simply enjoys the outdoors ~ to actually be able to work outside and get paid for it ~ what more could you ask for in life? Fresh air and exercise on a daily basis.
I do believe, that the time has come; an end to an era. A brief, one at that. No sooner, did I start my job ~ only to set sail into the horizon of change. I'm not sure, what is next. My oncologist is pretty insistant on putting me complete disability. Too many factors for me to weigh at the current moment with my health issue.
I honestly don't believe that I am ready to "give it up" ~ give up a life of what I consider: normalacy and consistancy. Not that, the life that I am now living isn't "normal" per-say; but, in a different way. I am adjusting to my new routines... dr.s visits, traveling, scans, treatments, anticipation and anxiety over results, etc... etc...
When your world is turned upside down ~ and topsy turvy... well, it tends to make you reflect and remanise. I'm ready for change ~ I'd imagine. I've got a great deal to contemplate. It may be nearing a point where a major change in life's "normalicy" may take place.
We are all, somewhat, in controlling of our lives. We make decisions on a daily basis that inadvertantly effect not only ourselve, but other's. And, when you begin to see the "bigger" picture ~ it gets that much harder. Especially when, you realize that YOUR time is limited ~ and YOU would honestly like to do and be where YOU want.
It's hard not to think that "selfishness" plays a role... but, then again... we are all only human. We know what dreams and goals we have. They will always be there. Lurking beyond... it's a matter of what we do with them.
I Loved Dr. Randy Pausch's message: "live your childhood dreams". ~ a simple statement, yet; we make it such a complex thought. We can make change... and we can make a difference.
I've been touched by the Power of: YOU. You have brought tears to my eyes, once again... your unselfish gratitude marvelous me; beyond all. We are a beautiful race. YOU, are an amazing person!
Keep the faith ~ and stay strong ~ in your everyday adventures in life.
Live and Love. Laugh and cry. Let the wind blow in your face... and feel LIFE.