Bags Packed...

My bags are packed, and I'm ready to go. Well, as ready as I can be. My flight out of Cleveland to Baltimore Washington leaves bright and early, 7 am. I've got an hours drive time prior to that. I will be getting up around 3:30 to shower, and get ready. My ride, (my step-dad; aka "Bob") likes to get up before the sun shines! :) He has been driving me to Cleveland for about a year now- wow. What a trooper. I will be going alone. My mother is going to watch my daughter, and my aunt is on "stand-by"... dependant on scan results, my mother may come to the NIH in Bethesda. AAAHHH yes, scan results. I've got a full itinerary, as usual. No eating after 11 am. (4 hours prior to those scans) ... so, you know what that means... EAT, EAT, EAT... until then!!! I've got to catch the shuttle to the NIH from BWI; which takes about 40 minutes. Its pleasant, usually quiet. I often nap, but, on occassion, meet someone really nice to chat with. Then, its off to get my blood drawn. After that, 3 o clock scans. UUMMM yummy... can't wait to drink that lovely cocktail concocsion, that they call "barium..." mm something or another. Let's see, will I have bannana or berry? -- then, its off to the scan room... deep breaths...in, out, .... injection... oooohhhh ... I gotta' pee... (gotta' love that feeling!) .... next stop- MRI. yeap, MRI was scheduled this time. I found a small lump in my neck after my first round of IL-2, which was still there after the second round. I haven't really noticed it, since I've been home... I've been trying to keep my fingers from wondering... NO more, self-exams!

Thursday... clinic day... THE DAY. THE DEFINATIVE DAY... I'm such a nervous, anxious wreck. It's quit the big deal... have my tumours responded to this incredibly rough treatment? - have my tumours shrunk? have they stabilized? or... have they grown? ... the scans will be the determinate factor in the next step/phase of my life. It's a rather big deal.

I've once again, packed my Mickey Mouse bag... (my reminder, of youth and fun) ... packed full of pj's... and hospital gear. If the Il-2 kicked mel's butt... I will be re-admitted promptly... put a pic line in... and off we go... cycle 2 of IL-2. I sure hope that my mom comes. It gets so lonely, and difficult, when you are all by yourself. Sometimes, it's unbearable. However, if the tumours have grown, well, ... I guess the TIL is to be discussed. I'm not sure, I'm ready for that... chemo, adjuvant, growth, ... I'm not even sure, what all is involved. Too much, right now, for me to comprehend, and phathom.

I should be getting off to bed, however, I can NEVER truly sleep the night before.