December 14th

Things continue to go well at NIH for Becky, great news! She has now completed 7 doses of IL2 following the administration of her cells on Friday and she felt well enough today to eat half of a BLT sandwich. She will continue to get the IL2 until her body says enough. She is hanging in there like the trouper we all know she is.

I understand she expects to post herself in the near future too. She writes so much more eloquently then I do! We will all be glad to have her back at the keyboard.

Julie

December 12

Becky has received her cells! She was given 60 billion of them at 1:30 this afternoon. Around 3:30 she received her first treatment of IL2 and is currently sleeping.

Work cells, work!

Becky, you are doing so well and what an inspiration for us all. All our prayers and thoughts are with you for a wonderful success story which I know you will share in the future with us here and on the MPIP. What an encouragement you will be to all those newly diagnosed!

Julie

December 10th

Becky continues to hold her own. She is still tired and got a transfusion today, which is a usual thing because of the chemo drugs she is on. She gets her last dose of the easier chemo tomorrow morning at 5 and will be all ready for the cells on Friday at about noon. Once she gets those she will start feeling really ill again, and even moreso once she starts the IL2 treatments after that. She gets as many of those as she can take and then it is a matter of waiting until her immune system kicks back in before she can go home, usually a couple of weeks or so.

You are getting there Becky! Things are moving along and you are fighting tough! Keep it up!

Julie

December 9th - Still Smiling

So I was a little worried last night when I couldn't reach anybody in Becky's room. Dee did write me tonight and I also talked to her after, Becky continues to do fine. She is still having a lot of problems with nausea but is more alert now and able to walk around a little bit. She is tired from not getting much sleep and the chemo. All is still a go for her getting the cells on Friday. Until then, she will receive the milder chemo each day.

Last night Dee had gone down to the craft room to make a sweatshirt for Becky. I didn't let the phone ring long not wanting to disturb Becky if she was sleeping. I figured somebody would pick up pretty quick if they were there.

Julie

December 7th

Hello: Made my nightly phone call and spoke with Dee, Becky's mom, tonight. Becky is having a rough time of it but nothing they don't expect. They just gave her the next IV of chemo, the easier kind. She has spent most of the day sleeping and being nauseous from the treatment last night, but that is to be expected. She is running a low grade fever and they have run some tests to check for infection.

They expect her to start feeling better tomorrow. The chemo she is on now is an easier one to tolerate. She should be feeling better the rest of this week, until she gets her cells on Friday.

On another note, today would have beeen Becca's 37th birthday. Becca and Becky did their IL2 together last February but unfortunately it didn't work for either of them. I know Becca really wanted to get back to NIH and do the TIL program that Becky is doing now, but she never made it. Much prayers and hopes that this will be the miracle that Becky needs to return to a normal life.

Julie

December 6th

I spoke to Becky's sister tonight. She had a rough night but that is to be expected since she is undergoing the difficult part of the chemo treatment. She got one treatment last night and was undergoing the second one tonight when I spoke with her sister. She has been sleeping a lot and had some nausea and hasn't been able to keep much down, but her vital signs are good and she is making it through. After today she will start a different chemo and should feel better while on that one, until she receives her cells next Friday the 12th. Then the rough part will start again.

We are all rooting for you Becky! You are getting there!

Julie

chemo is running through me now.....

today's thoughts, expressions, and views are being brought to you by ME! So much has been lost in translation... so much time has passed since I have written ~ as you can imagine, much was left unsaid. While in the midst of taking a "break ~ away" from cancer, I became ill for several days. Basically, I just lost alot of sleep time and was very week and too tired to truly want to do anything.
This past sunday evening at about 1 am ~ I began to vomitt profusely throughout the night. (a major concern considering I was attempting to gain weight for this treatmetl } I ended up in my local hopital's er ~ I had noticed that I had basically all but depleted my morhpine supply through excretions. The pain became so completely untolerable; which yields to further problems within the boday that began to spiral out of contrl. I was given 10 ml of IV morphine within a two hour spand *whick is basically a sign of just how bad my body was feeling without* severe pain leads to nausea...and then to vomitting... a vicous cycle. I was then given a shot of zophran (which helps to control the feelings of nasea)
I was then realised and send home. During which, at this point, I had lost about 5lbs. So, I called the NIH to find out what their plan of action was with this little set back. They said... get on that plane and we will take care of you... and we will find out what is wrong. All Ct and Mri scans came back basically the same : 1 expection, that tumour has grown slighly, but this was to be expected. The wonderful news, it has not been spread to any major organs.
In a very weak, light headed, and dizzy state, I took their advice and here I am.
Here I am 1 hour prior to my first chemo injections sitting on my bed, wrighting to you in grave anticipation, and frought with complete anxiety.
It is an hour long infusion ~ along with many any meds ~ to help stabalize the blader which will aid in getting the chemo out of my body. Lasix ~ to help get rid of a lot of water retention throught my body.

You'll have to excuse me, I was given antivan ~ its for anxiety and nausea ~ as well, the zophran is running again.
My thoughts may be a bit jungled, please bear with.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I did get my permanet port line put in my upper right chest ~ it is stitched to my colar bone and is realy hurting! crazy place for that! As well, I have an antinausea patch behind my ear, and a slew of other drugs that may be used just in case these don't. Also,,, I have recently started a pain medicine patch (natrually a narcotic) on my upper right arml~ it gets changed every 72 hours. It's much better than worrying about taking morphine orally by mouth every two...and given the crazy drowsey side effects... this Fentanyl patch works quit well.
The pain managment team has been in... they are going to order me a bracelet to wear ~ as well, a massage and massage therapy chair (to be used when I'm feeling much better)
The time is actually here. I have about 6 bags of stuff running through my poor little body!!!!
Cells are on a "go" status.
I've got to believe that this is the Big One. The one which will kick melanoma in its ass. I am ready to move on with my life~
Oh, I forgot to mention... Jacque from pain management wants me to interview his students/viceversa about bedside manners/mannersim... he is teaching Dr.s to not only treat the diseas but the human being as well. I completely agree!!! One good deed at a time.

You have all amazed me!!! Please forgive me a head of time ~ if I'm not feeling so wel to speak or converse for long periods of time.... I may be an on-looking... sharing the great effort. I sooo do look forward to meeting more of you and putting a face with a name.
ok hhavong a bit of trouble... may need to say my good-bye's for now...
You are all berry blessed and unique ~ Such wonderful people. Keep up your own fight ~ and hopefully someday I will be able to help return a favor. (lets hope it will be on a much better note!!!)

PS... I was wondering if anyone had any nice scarves that I may used? or catalogues online so that I may order some and have them shipped here to me... because I only two winter hats... (and that's not going to cut it~) lol...
I want to look pretty...oh, so pretty...
Take Care Love Becky

Good News! December 4

I just talked to Dee, Becky's mom, and Becky got good news today, her scans showed the melanoma has not spread beyond where it already was. I know she was so worried that it had spread into her brain with the headaches she was having. Anyway, she starts some medication this evening at 8 for her gallbladder,evidently this chemo is really rough on your gallbladder. Tomorrow the lab will check the cells to see if they are ready. If they are, the chemo will start, if not they may need another day or so.

Becky has been moved to a private room for the treatment. All systems are go and she will soon be off and kicking some major melanoma ***!

KMA Becky!

Julie

December 3rd

Hi! This is Julie, I am an e-mail friend of Becky's and hope to keep an update current on her progress at NIH. I just spoke to her mom and they are there. Becky is scheduled for tests today. They are both tired from the trip and the tests! I believe she has had her CT scan and is scheduled for an MRI later tonight. Tomorrow she is scheduled to get her port in.

An idea of mine to support Becky while she is there this month is to send her Christmas cards with a picture of you in it. They have a board they can post things up on and she can look up and see all the people who care about her. She had posted her address below. I have got to get my picture taken to send to her myself!

Much love, prayers and support headed your way, Becky!

Julie

Head Wraps and Jewels

I wasn't even sure that I was going to post today ~ Over the course of the past several days, I have had alot on my mind ~ and my subconsious is not make matters any better for that matter! I feel as though I am carrying a small tumour baby around with me ~ it's crazy. It's such an odd feeling. I am having alot of pressure ~ much similiar to when you are carrying a baby who is laying on your bladder, numbness, and varying pain.
I have been trying to keep myself as relaxed as possible and as stress free as possible. Yes, I have been running from stress for the past several months. I do not have the time or energy to allow my mind or body to dwell on and subcomb to potential dangers.
Overall, I believe that I have been making alot of improvements ~ for the good, naturally, in my life. I have been reading how stress and your environment can seriously effect your body and its ability to fight off disease and illness. I have also read that meditation can help clear the mind and "de-toxify" the body.
Without a doubt, I am in a much better place ~ locality, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically, speaking. I feel alive and well. It is a great feeling.
I am trying not to let the thoughts of next week creep up upon me. It seems as though my senses and emotions are extremely hightened at this time. Some of the littlest and simpliest things cause tears to swell.
I am doing my best to think about the "here and now" ~ my sister made a great point; that December is not here yet, to enjoy what I have now ~ to live in the moment ~ not two weeks away.
I was watching Oprah the other day and she had a show on about women and beauty around the world. I really enjoyed the piece about the women and men who shaved their heads and offered their hair to the gods, it was considered a great honor. I as well, really liked many of the colorful wraps that the Eastern women wore around their heads and the jewels in the middle of the forehead.
I honestly think, that I may try to look into this. In all honesty, their faces looked beautiful. I would love to get some of the wonderful colorful head wraps and jewels ~ if anyone has any suggestions or knows anyone who may be able to help, I would greatly appreciate the gesture.
I keep asking God to give me the strength to make it through this treatment. As well, I ask that this treatment give me hope. If the treatment does not work, there is very little beyond that that can be done ~ I was told that surgeries may be an option ~ but only as a means to help cut out some of the growth of the tumour. As well, there may be other treatment options to try ~ but overall, this is the only one with the greatest chance/s of working.
Regardless of the outcome ~ I am forever grateful for the lessons that I have been learning in my life and the experiences that I have been granted. They have been lifesavers.