I hope that everyone is having a good sunday afternoon ~ and your weekend is going well.
I wanted to briefly post to let you know ~ all is relatively well. I am having once again, an extreme abmount of pain in my right back. The morphine and nerve medicine is just slightly taking the edge off. I'm not sure what the cause.
I do have an apt. with the Dr. who put the stint in on Tues. I will be sure to ask alot of questions. It is very discomforting at times, to say the least.
In the meanwhile... I am having dreams about my cells growing in the multitude of mass. I have a good feeling that they are! Anxieties, though, continue to grow as well.
Just trying to "mentally" prepare myself for the road ahead. Part of me just wants to get it over with... and the other part... just doesn't even want it to begin.
I think that I'm starting to come around to the idea and concept of "wigs"... thanks to my recent change. It is kind of fun. To be able to be different. I know that hair doesn't make you who you are... or define your characteristic...
I have been learning from each and every experience throughout this experience with cancer.
What I have found, is that the generousity of human's is truly a wonderful blessing. It is inspirational and touching. It's uplifting and heartwarming.
I know that when many of us do things for other's... we do them simply out of the kindness and generousity of our hearts... we don't think about it... we just do it. We don't look ahead... at the possiblitity of the grandeur affects that it could have.
This is true kindness. Without a doubt.
You have the power ~ to simply touch a life ~ regardless if it is with words of wisdom or random acts of kindness. I often wish that I weren't on the recieving end ~ of cancer. I wish that I could be the caregiver. The one... giving. It always seemed so much easier..
I'm sure that "watching" ~ isn't the easiest ~ however, giving... of your heart ~ is.

Life Changes...

It goes without saying that today was a bit of an emotional road. I have quit a bit of things to accomplish before my chemo treatments. One on them is looking into getting myself a wig. So, I decided to stop by to see my hairstylist and ask her opinion... well, as you can see in the photo... she helped take it one step... further!
Wow. Wow. What a shock. I am no longer a blonde. I am a dark chocolate brown with a hint of glossy red. I'm not sure what to think... it's very different than what I am used to.
I had wanted to unifiy my hair color so that when the time came to cut it all off to send to locks of love ~ it would be a nice even shade.
I know that alot of changes are about to head my way... so, one one is just the start. I still need to decided on the color of my wig. So far, long blonde is in the lead... and I must say... I am still partial to this color. Although, change just may be in the future cards.
It also goes without saying... that today, I grieve for a loss. Not a loss of human nature. A loss of who and what I believed that I was... and/or who I became. The person that I identified myself with. The person that had worked so hard. Long and hard hours, days, months, and years to get to the position of my "career" status.
Today, that status's fate is sealed, in an envelope ready to go. An early retirment. Very early retirement at that. It's hard to let go. Hard to let go of a life that I once had. A life that I once began. A life that gave me identity. It gave me a greater sense of self and self accomplishment. It was ~ me.
Life changes... some are not ones that we really asked for or want. Who will I be? Who will I become? Who am I now? What do I identify myself with ~ in the here and now?
I am more than just a cancer patient ~ fighting a disease. I am more than an individual forced into early retirement because of ailment. I am more.
We all are ~ we just don't seem to know it ~ or know where we stand. Life changes are challenges.
So, for now ~ some changes, I can control. I changed my hair color and when I loose it all ~ I will change it again. Other things, I can not ~ loosing my job position, my hair, and the spread of my disease.
I can only do my best ~ to work with these challenges. To stay as focused and positive as I can. We all can ~ merely do our best. Nobody ever said that life was going to be easy. We take it for what it is ~ learn and grow ~ accept and face ~ that change is an important component that helps us get that much stronger in the end.
And, it's always nice to have bright shinning friends and faces by your side. I have to Thank Bob ~ with whom I work. He has gone out of his way numerous times to help me out throughout this process. He has stopped by the hospital just to say "hi" and taken me to the store just to get milk. All in all... in the end ~ it is these very kind gestures in humanity that bring about the best of change.
As he would say "you are the x and I am the o"
take care ~ all my friends
xo
PS It's not my time ~ I'm not going ~ Listen to the words in the video. Music has always helped me convey a greater sense of self; feelings and thought.

~Till death~

My daughter just came home from school and gave this to me to read:




~Till death~
By: Jennifer Sick


She closed her eyes and had a dream
God was there with a bright glowing beam
he said to her "your time has come and gone"
be not afraid
your soul is not lost
for you are in heaven
she looked around
and what did she see
loved ones thats where once lost
well how can that be?
what God has said
must be true
Theres no pain, no fear
not even a tear

She looked down and what did she see?
her family and friends crying sadly
She turned to God and said,
"why are they crying
so sad and so dim"

Its cause they lost a loved one
so pure and so beautiful
they lost their daughter and even their mother...

She tryed to cry out
and tell them shes ok
but they did not hear
so she fell to her knees
and began to pray
"Oh God please protect them"
"let my daughter know that I will always be there"
"i will guide her"
"lover her and always protect her"

God did just as she asked,
and the family moved on
but still thing of her
again and again...

This is dedicated to my mother...
I love you...

The Great Unknown

Once again, it's very late and I am unable to sleep. Although, I am extremely tired, I am unable to fall into that peaceful slumber. I am now beginning to have some pain on my left side, opposite side of the stint placement, which is similiar to that which I started to feel several weeks ago ~ which started this mess. I am getting a bit concerened. I will try to keep worry and doubt out of the equation for now.
I had tried to ween myself off the harsh meds. I believe that combination of the anethesia and morphine are causing some severe nightmares and related depression issues. This same thing happened after my last surgery at the NIH, at which time I too had been pumped to the max with both drugs.
I honestly do not like the medicine makes me feel ~ I never have, that is why I prefer to do my best without it; mind over matter. I do tend to agree now... that at times, it is absolutely necessary. I never thought that I would hear myself say that.
My mind is so damn foggy ~ and unclear while on these meds. My thoughts are random, implusive, and often times, continually ongoing. It is enough to drive one mad. I'd imagine that this may be the reason that I am up at this very moment journaling my rambling midnight thoughts.
I have went from researching Nostradamos's ideas and concepts of the end of the world to researching related to the number 7 to bible versus. Several of the quotes which started all of this were: "the end of the world begins the year that the great seventh number is accomplished" to "forgive til 7 times...never to become weary of forgiving...7 times 7...or 70 times 70...{and} your respect for others will be your ticket to success".
My quest and thirst for knowledge has always enlightened and entertained me. My mind travels from thought to thought... without end. I often wonder where it will lead me? And speaking of this... the great unknown...the future...and what is in store: I had began to write down some of my thoughts at various times throughout the year ~ thoughts that I had hoped to work into a book.
My sister has suggested that I try to channel my time on something that I like and enjoy ~ and although wrighting is one of those things, she is very correct ~ you have to be in the right mind frame.
So, I think that for now; before all is lost and forgotten, I may just post what I have. I had printed it out and changed/edited much of it ~ unfortunately, that version has yet to be typed. I am sure, that without a doubt, at some point in time, I will finish one of great unknown's. Until then, I will leave you with my jumbled files of jibberish to read at your leisure ~ I am just going to copy and paste ~ and not bother to re-read... for I fear I may not disclose such a part of myself otherwise.
(this was written throughout many personal issues ~ it is my part of many thoughts ~ which is often times on of my greatest problems ~ the inability to focus)

The Great Unknown
written by Rebecca Luker

An Inspirational Journey:
Your plight for Life through
Cancer's Cure

Displaced and Distant

Cancer; healing You
A peariless journey

Healing You; Cancer, A Peariless Journey

helping yourself heal and deal with your cancer
healing yourself
killing the mental disease
taking control of your life's disease
taking control of your disease's life

the beloved caregiver: cause and effect;
emotional wreck

the heartfelt failings and strides,
a journey tried

Allow this to be your awakening.

.
..
...


leave it to me... to save the file on an unliscensed product which has expired! I have printed it out ~ and will type this version tommorrow time permitted.

Sorry for any inconvience!

PS ~ the meds are starting to kick in... getting very sleepy... finally.

Have a Great Day Friends. Nite.

"there is something askew for me and you; Nostrodamus exclaimed and I proclaim, forgive one another, put dust under the cover" R. Luker

"How much of human life is lost in waiting?"

An Arsenol of Med's...

Welcome Back! Home Sweet Home

It has been a very long ~ several weeks. In and out of hospital's and hospital beds; eating such wonderful hospital food :) and barely sleeping (thanks to the wide array of Dr.s and nurse's flooding and bombarding your room) ~ a joy, in and of itself. In case you haven't gotten to experience such wonder's; let me explain: It usually begins between the hours of 4-5: a nurse comes to wake you up and take your blood for the Dr.'s early rounds, then another comes to slightly after that, usually after you've once again fallen back to sleep, to take your pulse, temperature, listen to your vitals/etc..your assesment. You then try to once again... get more sleep... but low and behold... 7 comes soon. Time to be up and ready... get your shower in if you can... because it's time to eat breakfast... and wait for the round of Doc's to discuss the onward plan. Then, basically, the day is planned accordingly: either to treatments/med's/surgeries/discussions with social worker's or counselors/in and out nurser's/visitor's/other patients that pass by in the hall/phone calls/room cleaners/hall monitors (lol...) Yes. you do get in trouble for leaving the floor if you weren't "permitted"!!! and the list goes on and on... go ahead... try to sleep, if you dare. Try to slip away into the room bathroom or one down the hall for some privacy... they will find you... (lol...) I've got to laugh... in all honesty.. because let me tell you... it's no picnic. Sure, sure... unlimited lounge time and no need to worry about making dinner ~ such great perks... what a trade-off indeed. If any of you have ever been in the hospital... you know the scenario well.
I had felt soooo terribly bad for my roomate who was doing her chemo dosing one night... so was tired and simply wanted to sleep... she was in peaceful slumber... when the nurses kept awakening her for pokes and prodes. I had flashbacks without a doubt. At times, it was nice to have a roomate to keep me company, and at times, it honestly wasn't... she was dosing with chemo... which brought back some bad memories of my Il-2 treatments and some anxities about my upcoming chemo treatments. Regardless, she was wonderful and delighful and handled her situation well ~ with grace and ease ~ considering the alternative. It seems to be the consensus amoungst cancer patients. What choice, do we really have? High toxitity or the ultimate inevitable ~ death?
Rambling again, am I? I have sooo much to say... (but, then again... when don't I?)
Perhaps I should update everyone before I continue on with my bouts!
As far as surgery was concerned: wonderful. This time, Thanks to the lovely and extraordinarily comforting and accomodating anesthisiologist ~ I did not get sick. I slept the entire day away... but, did not get sick. Always a bonus. She even stopped by my room the day after to see how I was feeling. That was the first time that an anestheologist took the time... to care. To show concern. It really was wonderful of her. She had a great bedside manner ~ joking with me... all the way to "lights out".
As for the surgeon, who was my previous "fellow" and Dr. ~ he "inscribed" his initials on my right leg... and gloriously preformed his task. He is Doc with a knack. Dr. Davis most definately loves his job! (which, is good for me :) ) He took out the tumor and sent it's "freshness" to the lab. So ~ let's hope that these cells mulitply in mass!!!
As for my recent tumors; the one's which were taken out from the last surgery and frozen... well... let's just say... that something "fishy" is going on... around the NIH. My Doc's mentioned that it was very "rare", when cells don't grow from the frozen ones. (very rare... denoted... with glances/stares which were undoubtably suggestive of foul play) ~ and the anesthesiologist comment: "let's hope that we don't have anymore freezer malfunctions"... only adds fuel to the fire.
So, assuming ~ foul play ~ was at hand ~ perhaps, it was not the fault of my previous tumor ~ to grow. I should have a great shot ~ this time! Keep those fingers crossed. Grow...grow...grow...
I'm still... very anxious~ and my anxieties continue to grow ~ with each passing day. I have never been so afraid of anything... in my life. The TIl treatment frightens me. I have heard and seen too many bad stories. Good one's too... of course. But, anyway: my discharge papers state: discharge diet: "high calorie, high protein" ~ you are underweight, so it is important that you include foods that have protein, fat, and carbohydrates, to keep you healthy and strong. Eat at least 1-2 slushies/milkshakes per day."
The goal is simple: gain weight. Eat. Eat. Eat!!!
If you have any suggestions on high calorie foods/diets/intake... they would be greatly appreciated. So far... I have been told that McDonalds milkshakes and hagaan das ice-cream are high in calorie content. I will so be off to the market... to whisp in the cart.. every imaginable high calorie food... just need to do my homework and prepare my list.
As for the ct scans... almost forget. What a great s.i.g.h... of relief. The tumor has not grown to such a dimension. It has grown... but... it is still relatively in the 3-4 cm area. It was lying on a muscle and around the lymphatic fluid pockets in the area ~ which made it look like such a great wall of mass. Very comforting to know indeed... basically, it means... that my disease has not taken on an aggressive nature... not nearly as aggressive or severe as thought. It is... still there... and pushing against many things... but, the stint is in... which has greatly alleviated the pain... and helped. I was very lucky. I did not got go into kidney failure. Although the stint is extremely discomforting... and makes me pee about a fifty times a day... it is doing it's job. Keeping me safe from harms way.
I do, often wonder what is next? What other organ can be and or will be affected... but... like my roomate would say: "one day at a day, one day at a time".
As for visitor's: Julie, I am so sorry that I missed you. My roomate said that you stopped by. Thank you so much for the lovely smelling candle ~ pumpkin spice. It brings about great delightful memories of Thanksgiving Harvest. Thank you soo much :) and Amy... you are a doll. To take your time to drive 2 hours out of your way... Thank You. It meant alot. I'm truly glad that we met. I promise to keep in touch. To everyone else: Thank you as well... for the continued thoughts and prayers... it keeps me going. I miss journaling my thoughts and recieving your correspondses. Greg ~ I have thought of you the most. I often don't know... what to say. I am at a loss for words. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through as a loving caregiver. I hope that get have a difficult time ~ with all of this. I often worry that it may bring back sad thoughts ~ it's a sensitive issue. I will be sure to e-mail very soon. I am still looking forward to those cups of tea!
Ok ~ oh... so ~ I was informed, that you can not participate in this trial ~ the TIL treatment without having a caregiver by your side. I know that my mom has offered... but, I am sure... that it would be greatly appreciated if she could often "take a break" ~ this really isn't any eaiser for her than I. So, I would greatly appreciated any/all to help ~ in any way. I am giving notice. I will find out in about 2 weeks if the cells are growing... if so... I will start the treatment in about 4 weeks or so...
Anyone willing... or who may be able to help out... all is welcome. Food for my mom while she stays at the lodge... babysitter for my daughter... anyone to help me... while going through treatments... (but, please do be reminded... it may be difficult... to see... watch... I may be very ill... and you will not be permitted to come in if you are ill yourself... I may be very malaise, unaware of your immediate presence, irritable, tired, sleepy, vomitting, nauseated, etc... etc...) enter the room... at your own risk!!! LOL.
Ok ~ to continue on...
yes, yes... so much to say....
I am looking into wigs. Yes, a wig. My roomate put one on~ and did she ever look sooo cute. Because of financial purposes... I believe I may only be able to get one... so I have posted some photo's of what I like... and will leave a poll for all of you... it should be fun! :) Can't wait to get the results! You are always welcome to find/add new one's! by the way... the arsenol of med's in the photo above... is just bit a glimpse of what they wanted to send me home with. I refused alot. I had ran across another woman's blogsite... cancerspot.org and she too had posted a photo of her med's... just to get her through... it was undaunting... when I actually saw it. Crazy. I joke and digress... I am starting a small pharmaceutical company!
Ok ~ gotta' run... got sooo much to do this... plus get caught up with much needed sleep. So much more to say... but for now ~ welcome back to my world.

P.S. this is breat cancer month... Awareness.

Awareness for all cancer's as far as I am concerned. Get checked and be informed.
The statistic's are high... and growing... by the year 2050 it is expected that HALF of all American's will be dx with cancer. Pretty staggering figure's. That's 1-2. Wake-Up America. Let's learn to save lives and prevent cancer.

PS.. let's keep Simone, from England...at www.cancerblog.easyjournal.com in our hearts and prayers. Please take the time to read his blog and send him a personal message via the link on the right ~ Thank YOU.

I love you All.
Take-Care

Surgery... again...

I just briefly heard from the NIH, I am to fly to Bethesda tommorrow. Yes ~ tommorrow. Wednsday October 8 to be admitted to the NIH on 3NW. My surgery is scheduled for Friday October 10 and my return date is Sunday October 12.
A whirlwind ~ indeed; but, it is without a doubt necessary. There is no time to spare.
They are going to remove the "surface" tumor that is in my groin ~ to see if these "fresh" cells will work ~ to grow for the TIL. As for the 9 x 4 cm tumor in my pelvis (which, my "fellow" at the NIH has informed me... they do not believe...has/is grown that much) I will be having more scans done ~ for their confirmation. Other than that...
this is where it all stands...
basically, in a nut shell...
they will take the tumor from the groin ~ use the cells to try and grow for the TIL ~ if they grow... it will be about 3 weeks or so before treatment can start ~ regardless if they grow or not... they are going to discuss with me... pallatative care.
Pallatative Care. To help alleviate the pain associated with the tumor. Tumor growth and any/all other problems related to the tumor.
I can only hope and pray that this tumor either stops growing or stabalizes... I can also only hope that my cells will do their job... and grow for the TIL... and I can also only hope that the TIL will work, if administered.
I'm not sure, what else is left... but, I will leave that in the hands of God.

If you do not once again hear from me... it is because I am busy at the hospital... taking tests, scans, bloodwork, etc... or in surgery or re-cooping from yet, another surgery.

As always, messages are more than welcome. My mother will be with me and staying at the lodge (which is in the photo above) ~ she will have her cell phone: 330-206-7662 I will as well have mine ~ feel free to leave a message if I don't answer. Please forgive me if I don't get back to you promptly.
Julie ~ I hope to finally meet up with you! And, anyone else, who may be at the NIH during these dates!!! Come look for me on 3NW, just ask for Rebecca Luker :)

Bless you All.
I send my Love,
Becky

My Sister...

Good Morning All!

Hello :)

~I wanted to post a photo of my sister & I~ this one was taken several months back. I thought, that perhaps, that it may be nice for many of you to be able to put a name with a face. ( I do believe that my mother is in the background of this pic as well)

I can't imagine that this has become any easier for my family. My sister gladly offered to post on this site as well as the mpip site. I know, that this may all ~ be very difficult ~ to try and put into words ~ to make shape or form ~ of ~ not only for herself ~ but other's as well.

However, it was the thought and effort ~ which touched me the most. This "blogging journal" ~ has become my forum for discussion and thought ~ which ~ has, at times, become an inavaluable resource for healing.

Regardless ~ My love and support for family at this time ~ are to be praised. My sister drove two hours with her daughter's to come help me ~ and, my mother; was by my side the entire time. And yes, I know, I am not the greatest of all patients~ (lol...) (a families inside joke ~ I'd imagine you would have to know me, quit well, to truly understand!!! ~ because I am unable to swallow pills ~ I must ask for either liquid prescriptions or crushed pills in applesauce or pudding ~ I, as well, am not much of one for medications ~ so, it takes my mom... a whole lotta convincing before I will even begin to think about shoving med's down my throat! ~ plus, I'd imagine ~ I'm very cautious ~ I want and need to know about the details of all procedures ~ including side effects, etc... I could go on... and on... but, let's save the fun stuff for my fam!)

What fun would life be ~ if we truly couldn't laugh at our ownselves?
That's all right ~ We are all different ~ in our very own special way :)

So, enough, enough, all ready... yes, it's late, and I'm once again up. I took a bit of a nap when I got home earlier today. I am (overall) feeling quit well. OOOOhhh sooooo much better than last week. Now, that was a total nightmare! Who would ever have imagined that such an obstruction to the kidney could cause such freakish pain? Although, the incident in the er that evening came relatively close ~ they tried six times to get an IV placed & failed ~ blowing out two of my veins in the process. But, that's ok ~ it took my mind off the back pain for awhile!
As many of you may be aware, the er took a ct scan ~ which revealed that the tumor mass in my pelvis was pushing against the ureta ~ which was causing the blockage of the flow from the kidney to the bladder. Of greater importance in the ct scan findings is the overwhelming and sudden growth factor of this tumor. It has been measured at 9 cm X 4 cm. Within less than two weeks it has grown a substantial amount ~ causing much alarm.
My oncologist at home ~ to say the least ~ has been a blessing in disguise. She is very concerened and determined as well, to try and help. Basically, she believes that this has become a "time-sensitive" issue ~ and that a course of treatment/plan, needs to be in place ~ NOW.
After many phone calls to the NIH ~ she has gotten in contact with those whom, she beleives may be able to help "expedite" the process. Unfortunately, it has been mentined that in leu of recent events ~ and with the placement of this stint in my ureta ~ (which is now considered a foreign body) ~ I may be ineligible for the TIL treatment. None the less... this treatment takes anywhere from 4-6 weeks to process ~ time, which, I do not have. So, it is in the hands of the NIH at this point. They have suggested IL-7 as an option.
Monday is the big day at the NIH when all the doctor's meet to evaluate all cases ~ and I do believe that I will be of priority. There is not much time to spare ~

So, naturally, yes; I have been taken aback by this news. Wow. It is extremely hard for me to internalize and intake. I have a mass ~ a soft foreign body ~ within my body ~ which has tripled in sized within less than two weeks time. It is overwhelming. This disease. It is unpredictable, unstable, ruthless, and reckless.
I have, over the course of the past two years become very familiar with this deadly disease ~ or, as it is referred to as: "the beast". I have read many heartwarming and touching stories of the struggles and battles that patients and families have endured along their path in life with this disease. I have grown to respect human ~ and human nature ~ by far ~ now, more than ever in my lifetime.
It goes without saying ~ that the power does lie, within oursleves. Just knowing, that I had such a wonderful support from family & friends ~ makes such a grave difference in the healing process ~ and yes ~ from each and every one of YOU ~ my reader's ~ just knowing, that you are keeping up with my daily life, endeavors, trials and tribulations ... shows too.... that you care ~ compassion is abound.

That is what life is about.

So, in the meantime ~ while we continue to wait to hear from the NIH ~ your thoughts and prayers mean the world to our family at this time, in our life. It is a new experience ~ life experience to us all. I know, that it most definately, can not be easy for my loved one's to sit an watch me "suffer"; in pain. But, it is part of the process. It is part of the the irrevocable truth. The truth that I have decided to share.
There is no way or reason to sugar or candy coat that which is ~
I've been thinking alot about how I have been feeling over the course of the past two years or so ~ off and on ~ sick, and then, not. The rollercoaster ride, which I have been on. The bad times, eventually, make way to good and the good ~ help me appreciate that time, all that much more.
I am ~ feeling absolutely better now. The back pain is all but void. Such a wonderful relief, without a doubt. Who would ever have thought that a simple placement of a stint could help alleviate all the pain and unnecceassry suffering?

The next step ~ is not going to be the easiest either. I'd imagine that I can bet, that I will be on a plane to Bethesda by week's end or soon thereafter. I am hoping so, because, at this point, as my onc has mentioned: "I am at their mercy". There is not much more, that can be done. I have faith and belief that they are working to find a solution; one which apply's to my current situation and on my behalf.
I have many thoughts, in regards to many issues. I have been made aware ~ that if the tumor growth persists at such a rate ~ and there are no real treatment options availible ~ pallatative care ~ is availible. For many, who are unaware of this term/phrase... it is just, merely, a nice way... of saying... that because there may be no further treatment options... the tumors can be managed... with pain relief/killers... so that a cancer patient may at least try to enjoy their time ~ free of pain.
The mass, which has grown, yes... I can "feel" it. I have been asked that and it's not so much, that the tumor actually causes the pain ~ it is what the tumor does... which causes the pain. Whether it is pushing against nerves or other internal body organs or the like. There is some pain associated with my tumors at times ~ but, overwall... it has been the internal destruction which has been most compromising.

I am sure, that I could continue to go on and on tonight ~ I once again have alot on my mind and in lieu of recent events... I am once again left to re-evalutate my life and life's choices.
It's not been easy... for my family to hear me think this way... or speak this way. But, as I continue to re-iterate and say... I will not allow myself or body to be a complete "guinee pig" for medical purposes. There will come a point... in time... when I will most definately say... that I would prefer pallatative care... so, that I may life out my life... one, left, for peace.

God Bless you all.
I will, as always keep you informed ~ and keep you in thought.
I send my love to all.
Becky

After surgery update on Becky

Becky just came out of surgery a couple hours ago; she is still very sleepy, as the drugs have not worn of yet. Now we are waiting to see how she feels. I am sure it will take a few days of recovery before we know if this has taken the pressure off her tumor. Next we will have to see if NIH will still accept her in the TIL trial as they would prefer her not to have a foreign object in her body. The chance of infections is much greater since the TIL entails wiping out her immune system.

Update from Becky's sister

Hello, my name is Cathy I am Becky's sister. I know many of our family and friends visit my sister’s blog for updates. While I am not much of a writer and am certainly not as poetic as my sister I will try to do my best to keep you all up to date on her condition.

Becky is at Aultman hospital right now while receiving pain management through morphine and nausea medicine. The tumor in her pelvis has grown substantially in the last 3 weeks from not quite 2 cm to 9 x 4 cm. The tumor is pressing on her right kidney and causing quite a bit of pain. We think the Doctors will be putting in a stint tomorrow to avoid kidney failure, but we are not sure if this will relive any of the excruciating pain she has been it. The doctors believe the pain is from the size of the tumor pressing on the kidney. If you would like to send any personal e-mails or questions you can send them to our mother at keyserbood@yahoo.com.

God bless you all!

no worries... and Thank YOU.

I briefly wanted to let everyone know ~ I took the morphine last night ~ started off slow... the good news ~ it really helped elivate the tumor pain ~ bad news.. back pain was "dulled". I didn't get much sleep ~ afterall. Early a.m. I decided to up the dosage... thank goodness. It knocked me out for several hours ~ some well needed sleep. It has helped numb me quit a bit ~ however, the pain is still there. I have been advised to go to the ER ~
I am soooo tired and just want to sleep ~ but, I know... I can't keep this up. So, support is on the way... and I will be off to Aultman Hospital's ER. Let's hope that they can get this figured out ~
If you don't hear from me for a bit ~ you will know where I am at. Thank you ALL for your continued thoughts and prayers ~ they are greatly appreciated.